Drunk

Middle of the night, hours more to dawn, surprisingly, I was still awake, only bottles of beers kept me in companion…and still, I was being able to post this entry.

I was drunk…at least I believe I was.

True enough, where an alcoholic will never ever, or maybe conditionally, self-proclaim as being drunk after a dozen of cans.

But I believe I was really drunk in this blue moon.

Drunk enough to be deceived, or rather betrayed, by my own sight - seeing my own reflection in the mirror - where the attractive face of mine, the arrogant look I used to keep and the very narcissist me, all seemed to have gone down to the drain. All were blurred to the contorted facial which disgusts me – this happened since I was left in the state of drunkenness.

The ability of good time management has long ago retarded. I seemed to have a difficulty meeting up my task, to finish up my work on time, and to eat according to my meal hours (well, this I would normally fail, discard this), finally in commencing on my assignments of my law studies.

Sigh…not so great right? It’s a bit messy right now, pretty much off from my master plan.

The passer by(s) perceived me in different ways from one to another. Some might be green in envy whilst some might have despised me. Some were friendly, some were aggressive. And previously, I don’t really give a damn to them, simply because I enjoyed being drunk. I enjoyed seeing stars which were not so promising. I enjoyed singing to the deep drain which echoed to respond to my talent.

Why? ... because I was drunk …. simple as that.

But…human being human…with limited truism. I couldn’t survive any longer when the last say or critic arose which seemed to leave a weight on me. I finally erupted, who then behaved in rebellious manner, who then subsequently being punished for misbehaving. And lastly I was locked in a very cold cell where you won't get any response from the desired.

*Sigh*

I was a little bit upset tonight. Very much depress indeed. Pressure that creep from the tease and critic. Encroached my temper till I whiter further to little. The pretty face abandoned me whilst the beautiful mind ignored me and life wouldn’t have gotten any worse than that. I looked down to myself.

We had a quarrel. The relationship has been temporarily frozen. All was due to the minute I tried to be conscious and coincidently lost my temper in doing so.That's the reason why I was left all alone at the midnight. I took the last sip of the beer left in the bottle. It’s not doing any good on me- literary, to intoxicate me more than ever I was intoxicated in the relationship.

By the way... for your knowledge, I’m never an alcoholic but rather "Te-queirosholic" or whatever you could have thought of.

I was only drunk in a relationship.