In Memories of Lim Siew Ying
" Eyyy...Isn't that looks like a hamburger?
Uuh...ohh...That one looks like a ...a...Yeah, a fish!
well...ermmm...this one looks like...ermmm...ermmm...I dunno what it is...."
But the hamburger, fish and dunno what it is disappeared immediately after a gust of wind surfing through the living room and swept them out of shape. There goes...
Uuh...ohh...That one looks like a ...a...Yeah, a fish!
well...ermmm...this one looks like...ermmm...ermmm...I dunno what it is...."
But the hamburger, fish and dunno what it is disappeared immediately after a gust of wind surfing through the living room and swept them out of shape. There goes...
Puff by puff of white smoke were again sneaking out through the slit between the nearly closed, pale painted door and the wooden door frame. They habitually escaped from my granma's room especially during nightfall.
I was only four, and my childhoods curiosity always make me want to see and wanted to see so much. Used to be a mischievous one, I tried to imitate the Pink Panther from the TV by lightening my footsteps, lifting my heels, and only counting on my ten little toes to support my weight. Then, closer and closer I approached to the back of the door to cover up my skinny-bamboo like body. I chuckled. I was being proud of myself. My secret mission nearly accomplished. I then took a deep breath, slowly I peeped into the room through the slit. The light was off, and there's only gleam from my eyes in the dark. My eyeballs had a quick scan on the dark room for familiar images. While scanning through, my vision suddenly caught another gleamer. Spontaneously my curiosity encroached my awareness on the intended "undercover job", and automatically I pushed the door to half-closed just to allow the fluorescent from the living room to help me see better.
The gleamer was actually the burning of one end of a paper white soft stick-which i was being told that it was a cigarette much later; and of course, i was well reminded on the risk taking it.
" Ah Ma!!! What are you doing?"
Ah Ma, my grandmother.
I was taught to call her in this way since the moment i know her.
She noticed my appearence, and then she clamly extinguished the cigarette on the ashtray. After that, She turned to me and as usual put on her warming heart smile. I seemed to have disturbed her smoking break after her dinner, but she neither scolded me nor chased me out of her room. She always looks so kind and loving to me. Although she's very thin and probably would have gone through seven decades of hard times, but she was very healthy and not even with her back hunched as others who usually have had by her age.
I walked toward her. She then carried me to her laps and embraced me, together with a few pats on my head. Although there was still a strong cigarette smell remaining on her cloth but guess what, that was actually how my granma smelled like, the smell that i was familiar with. I was kind of loving it-mainly because i love her so much... i think.
After one or two coughes, she then started to tell me one of her favourite old chinese myths. I couln't remember which one she had told me, that was like eighteen years ago. My memories toward my granma started to fade away like tearing off the pages of calender as days goes by. Now, there's only some left over in my rusty mind. And I remember...
Before we shifted into the low cost apartment in Sentul, my granma babysat me at the squat near Selayang when my parents were not around. I had no idea where they had gone to but ...i had my granma. I had my granma when i was hungry. I had my granma to bring me to the hot spring when i get dirty. She spoonfed me with white rice and soy source during lunch. It's so delicious. She had also get me a new friend-Mr. Froggy at the hot spring, its so called teritory.
Then i started my primary school life, there was once my teacher "doodled" on my test paper which later discovered by my dad on a thunder storm night. Horribly, he turned monstrous, and in furious, wacked me with his evil staff...Ouch (Haha, it was just my dad hitting me with cane actually). I was screaming with every muscles of mine for help-"~~HELP~~". Zaaappp!!!...there stood a dark figure in front of me with bright lights from behind. Woo hoo!!! It was she...The Speedlight Jenny the Granny had come into rescue (how did i get into such a"marvellous" mode?...well anyway...). Once again the Granny had saved the day and restored the world in peace (It was just my granma defending me again).
Oh...there was this time...
When i was seven during that summer, my vision started to blurr. My dad brought me to one of the optical centre in town for check-up. Yeap, the doctor told me that i need a glasses from then on. Since having a "beautiful" record on my carelessness, my dad got me a big, old-fashioned, dark brown spectacles. It was sooooooo ugly. But being a child i was like..."wow, so cool, i wear spectacles". By the time i get back to home, everyone was stunningly staring at me, within split of the second, everyone cracked up horribly at me. Especially my granma, she was like bursting out laughter till her body bent 90 degrees. Though i knew everyone was treating me as the laughing stock, but i was really happy to see my granma to laugh in such a way that I'd never seen before.
And...there was this time....
I saw my granma lying breathlessly on the bed after being in vegetative state for a year to two.
All the relatives were having their tears spilt on the bed. Some was reading the prayers. Again, being a child, i was too shocked to come to the situation rather than shading my tears like the others. But i clearly knew that someone who had loved me so much before passed away. I could no longer take her pamper from granted. I could no longer listen to any old chinese myths from her. I could no longer... ... ...
Now, i can only feel my granma every "Ching Ming", sitting next to the cold tombstone at dawn. It was blistering cold in the morning during the last visit. Most of us (my family) were shivering. But somehow i did feel warmness in a way. Well, it could have been the sun shine that warmed me up, or it might just be the memories that had warmed my heart. Whatever it is, i started to like Ching Ming.
"Ah Ma...i miss you so much...I hope you are doing well in the heaven"
Before we shifted into the low cost apartment in Sentul, my granma babysat me at the squat near Selayang when my parents were not around. I had no idea where they had gone to but ...i had my granma. I had my granma when i was hungry. I had my granma to bring me to the hot spring when i get dirty. She spoonfed me with white rice and soy source during lunch. It's so delicious. She had also get me a new friend-Mr. Froggy at the hot spring, its so called teritory.
Then i started my primary school life, there was once my teacher "doodled" on my test paper which later discovered by my dad on a thunder storm night. Horribly, he turned monstrous, and in furious, wacked me with his evil staff...Ouch (Haha, it was just my dad hitting me with cane actually). I was screaming with every muscles of mine for help-"~~HELP~~". Zaaappp!!!...there stood a dark figure in front of me with bright lights from behind. Woo hoo!!! It was she...The Speedlight Jenny the Granny had come into rescue (how did i get into such a"marvellous" mode?...well anyway...). Once again the Granny had saved the day and restored the world in peace (It was just my granma defending me again).
Oh...there was this time...
When i was seven during that summer, my vision started to blurr. My dad brought me to one of the optical centre in town for check-up. Yeap, the doctor told me that i need a glasses from then on. Since having a "beautiful" record on my carelessness, my dad got me a big, old-fashioned, dark brown spectacles. It was sooooooo ugly. But being a child i was like..."wow, so cool, i wear spectacles". By the time i get back to home, everyone was stunningly staring at me, within split of the second, everyone cracked up horribly at me. Especially my granma, she was like bursting out laughter till her body bent 90 degrees. Though i knew everyone was treating me as the laughing stock, but i was really happy to see my granma to laugh in such a way that I'd never seen before.
And...there was this time....
I saw my granma lying breathlessly on the bed after being in vegetative state for a year to two.
All the relatives were having their tears spilt on the bed. Some was reading the prayers. Again, being a child, i was too shocked to come to the situation rather than shading my tears like the others. But i clearly knew that someone who had loved me so much before passed away. I could no longer take her pamper from granted. I could no longer listen to any old chinese myths from her. I could no longer... ... ...
Now, i can only feel my granma every "Ching Ming", sitting next to the cold tombstone at dawn. It was blistering cold in the morning during the last visit. Most of us (my family) were shivering. But somehow i did feel warmness in a way. Well, it could have been the sun shine that warmed me up, or it might just be the memories that had warmed my heart. Whatever it is, i started to like Ching Ming.
"Ah Ma...i miss you so much...I hope you are doing well in the heaven"
From left : 2nd bro, Granma & me
Labels: Story
posted by MZ at 3:59 PM
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